Last night was Halloween and I was the candy handerouter. I love that job and can hardly wait to see all the little ones. I had the large puppy behind a baby gate so he could watch but not lick or jump on small children. I had all the lights in the house on, as well as the porch light, to let the world know that we were open for business. My son had lit the candles in the pumpkins he carved before he went out on his first Trick or Treat without parents. I was ready!

After the first few visitors, I was very concerned. What is wrong with the children? I had several completely silent children, two who said “Happy Halloween” and one who shyly whispered “Hi.” What happened to yelling “TRICK OR TREAT!!!!” when the door opens? After all, this is the only time of year a kid gets to yell at their neighbors and get handfuls of candy for their trouble. Yes, they were all adorable and said “thank you” as I handed out the candy. The parents standing out on the street waved and said “thank you” too. I thought, well, maybe these are just the early bird super polite shy daylight kids.

As the doorbell began to ring again and again, the same weird thing was happening. Very few kids said the magic words. My husband asked one child “what do you say on Halloween?” he replied “Candy!” I considered hosting a tutorial out in the cul de sac. These children have obviously been neglected! Or is there something worse afoot?

My mind began to spin and I wondered if I had missed some ill thought out mommy memo about the phrase “trick or treat” being an illegal and punishable terroristic threat. After all, a few years ago, my son was banned from the bus stop yard down the street for playing in the yard with the other twenty some odd kids and stepping on a tulip. Stranger things have happened… I was told by my daughter last week that she couldn’t hug a friend who was crying because PDA (public displays of affection) are against school rules. So many rules; everything is wrong now. Who can have fun when there are so many rules regulating childhood?

I mentioned my concern on Facebook and a neighbor agreed that the kids were way too quiet and suggested “indoor voices are not necessary.” Have the parents forgotten to teach their children proper Halloween etiquette? Has this phrase been phased out for some reason? Are parents making their children so polite that they won’t let them infer that if there is no candy, they might play a trick on me? Are children not allowed to yell with reckless abandon anymore?

This experience is helping me build the case toward my idea for a business in the near future. I plan to open something very unique called “Play School.” As we all know, the pendulum always swings back and I think this culture of overachieving, overscheduled, overguided, helicopter parenting will soon give way. I will be there to teach children how to make mud pies, watch ants, lay in the grass, make clover chains, gather maple seeds (helicopters) and dump them by the bucket full off the deck. In the fall, along with raking giant piles of leaves to jump and hide in, we will have a lesson on yelling “TRICK OR TREAT!” The rules may have changed but children haven’t. That year, I will see kids with ruddy cheeks from running through my yard in impatience and ringing the doorbell several times who smile mischievously and laugh as they yell at me!

When my son came home after trick or treating and swapping candy with his friends, I asked “what did you do tonight when people opened their door?” He looked at me like I had lost my mind and said “I yelled “Trick or Treat!””  Good, I’ve done something right!